Why #relationship goals could ruin your real life relationship

In 2016 we are moving or trying to move further and further away from the hashtag craze that took over every form of social media and our vernacular last year. One of the biggest trends we all found ourselves gravitating to is #relationshipgoals and everything that encompassed that. Full Instagram pages dedicated to cute candid pictures of couples lovingly putting food in each other’s mouths, candid’s taken while sleeping, vacation traveling, and of course the birth of #swolemates and #fitcouples that gave us all gym envy. Agreeing to go somewhere to eat can be hard enough without dragging your significant other to put on decent clothes and break a sweat at the gym- getting between the sheets can be just as gratifying- just saying.

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So why did we let this hashtag and pictures that followed rule our relationship ideals last year? Why did we let celebrities like Bey & Jay, Chrissy & John, Jelena (when they are together), and so on be our pillar of what relationships should look like? Who made the rule of what our life is supposed to look like with our partner? What is photo-worthy, since that what it often comes down to nowadays. As a couple where can we go, what can we do, how can we make ourselves look happy and appealing to the outside world. Wrong. Wrong Wrong.WRONG. If your living in your relationship to get likes on social media or put on the facade your the picture perfect couple, the only person your fooling is yourself. When you let social media start dictating the life you think you should be living with your partner, your only setting yourself up for disappointment and putting undue stress on the expectations for the relationship.

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Are there aspects of a relationship we should all aspire to, Yes of course. What everyone wants out of a relationship and partner is different, we all have a different vision for what the ultimate life is we’re sharing with our partner. Is wanting to live extravagantly, take amazing trips, and own the finer things in life wrong, of course not. But do you need these things to be happy in your relationship, no. The biggest problem with #relationshipgoals is that it sets up only a glimpse of a relationship and not giving us the entire perspective. I’m pretty sure unless your an Instagram model, couple, or being sponsored by an agency to post those convincing photos, we all know there is more to a relationship than a moment captured in the picture. I’m a firm believer that a photo can say a thousand words, truly it can and often does convey so much we see at surface value. But that’s the key is that it’s at surface value. Setting the expectations that relationship goals is what you need or think you need in order to have a successful relationship is setting yourself up for the failure.

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When we think relationship goals in 2016, well for those of us looking to form healthy, sustainable partnerships, lets look to actually setting real goals-not just wanting what’s in a picture. Being the generation of change and reinvention in terms of label, sexuality, communication and relationships, we should set our best foot forward in giving a new definition to relationships. We should promote and work on making the type of goals with our partner to help us be our best selves in the relationship while helping the other person move and grow forward in their journey. Can we travel, build, be successful and have great experiences that enhances our time with that person-yes you should in fact. If your not growing in the relationship the better question would be why are you in it to begin with. Let’s separate the hashtag this year and make it less of a trend and more of a real life, concrete aspect of our time with our partner.

I”ll take the real thing over #relationshipgoals any day.

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