Social Media Dating Shame- Why you should OWN how you met your partner

So it’s 2016. We are GEN-Y and have revolutionized the art of dating. Some could say it’s to our own detriment, others could praise us for our bold and direct way at being able to explicitly state what we want, who we want, and how we want it. In the booming age of technology finding your significant other has become more accessible. This accessibility has helped long distance relationships flourish, broken the barriers between country wide communication, and introduced a plethora of options for who you want to make your significant other. Whether you met through Tinder, SoulSwipe, DM’s in Instagram, Facebook, or even through Snapchat (it’s possible, met my current boyfriend on it through a mutual friend) the time for social media date shame is over.

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There are many people who feel that surge of embarrassment or creeping fear of judgment when admitting to friends, family members or strangers how their relationship bloomed. That stir in the stomach that somehow meeting someone or seeking the company of another person in a world filled with billions of people through your own volition reflects something wrong with you. Not everyone can boast with pride about choosing to explore this avenue of dating because to some it’s “desperate,” or a “last ditch attempt” at dating. Choosing to use a form of social media to contact someone your interested in is short of anything other than bold and courageous. There is a fearlessness you have to acquire when contacting a complete stranger using only bits and pieces of things you may or may not know about them to even communicate with them.

If you’re on Instagram you can only piece together the image of someone’s life by what they choose to post on their page whether that’s pictures, selfies, quotes, food etc. You contact someone through a DM hoping that not only will they take you seriously since DM’s have become notorious for hook-ups and that they at minimum respond. In dating specific apps like Tinder/SoulSwipe etc. you build a dating profile in hopes that someone your contacting or who contacts you is even a fraction of someone you could hope to date. You engage in conversation praying that you’re not being “catfished” or there not going to propose something sleazy like “Netflix & Chill,” for your first date. Dating on social media is hard and time-consuming, many good phone batteries have perished to the extensive editing, clicking, and checking as one does throughout the day just waiting for that connection we hope translates into reality if we get to meet.

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You run through the hoops, jump the hurdles, establish each other isn’t a psycho-killer or murderer and embark on a relationship. A relationship that may have the basis of social media but grows to be just like everyone else’s- a relationship or partnership in which you grow, learn, love, and enjoy the company of another person. We all just want to be wanted and loved, so why apologize for that? Why be ashamed that your roots are tied to social media? If your happy with that person no one should tease you, make fun of you, or you make you feel otherwise about how you obtained your happiness. Let’s face it, the time of the classic “meet-que,” of our favorite romantic comedies is few and far between. Not impossible, but I’m pretty sure I’d be old and gray still waiting for that perfect to guy to reach out and grab the same book as me at my local bookshop with the belief we’re going to fall in love.

In the old days people met “organically,” through mutual friends, and now the odds of meeting a potential partner or dating has increased exponentially with the explosion of social media and dating apps. So why be ashamed? We are the generation of innovation, communication, and revolution, so why feel fear in admitting your relationship bloomed from an app? Be fearless, Be bold, and say it loud and proud knowing not only that your not alone in your social media dating endeavor, but we salute your bravery to put yourself out there.

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